Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don’t even have to comb your own hair.
Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner or anything else for that matter.
When it’s raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.
If it itches, you can reach it. And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in public.
It doesn’t bother you if your favorite television show is a rerun.
You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you’re insensitive.
April 15 means nothing to you.
People at drive-through windows never charge you for treats.
No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you’re cute.
Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.
No one gets mad if you fall asleep while they’re talking.
As an adult, it’s OK if you haven’t "amounted to anything" except being a dog.
The older you get, the more people respect you.
You can sleep late every day.
If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.
You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger’s lap.
There’s no such thing as bad food.
You don’t have to worry about good table manners.
People think you’re normal if you stick your head out the window to feel the wind in your hair.
It doesn’t take much to make you happy. You’re always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.
Having big feet is considered an asset.
If you gain weight, it’s someone else’s fault.
You can spend hours just smelling stuff.
Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.
No one tells you to wipe your nose because it’s wet.
